I've never been good with kids. I don't tolerate whining well, my patience is rather short and I don't consider myself maternal at all. I've known this is not going to be my strong suit. I am however, passionate, caring, a hard worker and determined. I knew that I didn't want my children growing up eating bad foods, being a burden to society and being entitled. Being a mother/parent is the hardest thing I've ever done.
From day one, my little girl's been as determined and hard headed as her mother. She's small, tenacious and has the mind of a teenager. While I was pregnant she would sleep while I was working out and teaching at the gym and then kick and punch me all night long as I tried to sleep. She arrived already a spit fire. The first 3 months, she would just look at my husband and scream. Back then I was upset that he couldn't help more, but now I laugh. There was a full month where she slept in the swing because neither myself not my husband could comfort her. If she wasn't eating she was crying. Oh my! That child of mine.
This spirit of hers is not an easy thing to work with daily. I ask everyday that I be given the guidance to not break her spirit and allow her the freedoms of self. I also try everyday to be a little more like her; a little freeer, more spirited (if that's even possible) and more playful. I want to be able to see the world through her eyes; the newness, possibilities and all the goodness. She's 3 now and I hope that she doesn't lose this part of her, as I did, at such a young age. May she beat to her own drum, may she question everything and may she not care what others are thinking. May her heart be as big as the sun and may she find fulfillment and happiness. I love you my precious Sloane and mommy is doing her best.
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