- It won't work!
- Don't even try that!
- No one will listen to you.
- It will never change!
- One person can't make a difference.
- You might as well quit while your ahead.
Do you have people around you that are always giving you the "what ifs"? You know, those nasty hypotheticals that can take your momentum and completely stop it in it's tracks. All of us have encountered this. There are certain times that you must weigh some "what if" scenarios, but in the big picture it's much less than what we imagine. My whole life this has affected me. In some things, once I made up my mind, I was going to do it no matter what. Other times though, it really affected me and stopped me from doing some really great things. The more I've thought on this and have spoken with a few mentors, something kept coming to the front of the issue. Whether these individuals are doing it out of well meaning or an underlying sabotage, it all comes down to the simple premise of them projecting their fears onto you. These aren't your fears and insecurities, they belong to others! Unfortunately, this can also begin at a very young age with our own parents. I often times catch myself telling my children not to do something. Yes, there are times it's very warranted as they try to jump from the top of the couch or go to grab the hot oven. However, if they are trying something on their own that's not dangerous to their actual health, I try and let them do it and figure it out. That triangle won't fit in the square hole, but it's their job to figure out where it goes and how to get it there. That's their success to have.
Why do we allow this behavior in our own lives? How do you deal with it? Are you allowing others to steal your dreams?
The first thing you have to do is get clear on your dreams and goals. You have to be very precise and clear. I'm going to write more on this tomorrow.
The second thing you must do is truly believe in yourself. If you've been replaying the voices and all their objections in your head, this can take some time as it's embedded there. Wrench it free and toss it! You are your own person. Your mind and thoughts are separate from theirs. I wrote on "I am" earlier in the month and this plays a big part in this. Go back and read it.
The third thing is to turn all those nonsensical fears into positive affirmations and repeat them over and over again until it's true to you and you believe it completely. Turn "no one will listen" into "I have a message everyone needs to hear."
The fourth and the perceived hardest thing to do is distancing yourself from those types of individuals. This may even require having a polite conversation with them about what they are doing. It's ok to say to someone, "I really value you and your opinion, but we're going to have to quit talking about ______________, because our discussions are beginning to hinder me and my future. " They should respect that and say ok. If they try to argue, be firm and hold to your request that you don't want to discuss it anymore. If it continues past that point, then you may need to distance yourself further. It's really not that hard, but we worry too much about what that person will think of us. Once again, it doesn't matter.
The fifth step is to find some really great mentors. Look into some mastermind or meetup groups that you can start going to. Be an active part and partner up with some people with the same core thoughts as you. You don't have to be in the same industry, but your core values need to align. Surround yourself with individuals like this that support you and will help foster growth within you. Make sure you are giving back to them in the same manner. It's a two way street.
It's all in how you think. It's all in what you think. It's your success to have!
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